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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844936">Regarding Organizational Policy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuuya/pseuds/sakuuya'>sakuuya</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Battle for London in the Air (Roleplay)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ahistorical crack, Crack, Gen, I only did research on one thing for this story and it was the history of Post-It notes, Immortal Illuminati AU, Memos, Other characters vaguely alluded to, Workplace Comedy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:21:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844936</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuuya/pseuds/sakuuya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A selection of memoranda from the desk of Dr. Irving Suttler over his tenure as head of HR for the IIA.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Regarding Organizational Policy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>8 October, 1906</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Hello!</b></p>
<p>Salutations, all!</p>
<p>My name is Dr. Irving Suttler, and Mr. Reeves has appointed me the head of HR now that I’ve finished my field career. I look forward to working more closely with you and making your lives with the IIA go more smoothly. For the moment, Mr. Reeves has asked me to remind you that keeping one’s identity secret is paramount. No matter how trustworthy an outsider seems or how attractive he may be, you do not have authorization to disclose any information about the IIA or your role in it to civilians. Should you break this rule, you can at the very least expect to be reassigned from the field to administration.</p>
<p>With that unpleasantness out of the way, please know that my door is always open!</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>20 April, 1921</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Office Decorum</b></p>
<p>Hello agents,</p>
<p>Most of us here have been adults for a long time, so I had hoped I’d never have to write this. Unfortunately, the conduct of certain agents recently means that I need to issue a reminder: As outlined in section 5.2B of your training guide, copulation is forbidden in the IIA home office. I understand that many of you only see your former lovers here, and I’d like to thank you for maintaining distance in public. However, I must stress that this is an intelligence agency, not a cathouse. Feel free to put in a request to be married on your next changeover, and we’ll do our best to get you and your paramour together in an official capacity.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>29 June, 1925</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Pseudonyms</b></p>
<p>The IIA has a long history of allowing agents to choose their new names when it’s time for a changeover. Letting you pick your names ensures that your new identity is something you’re comfortable answering to. It has come to my attention, however, that some of you have been abusing this privilege. As a reminder, the following are expressly forbidden:</p>
<p>        Names of widely-known historical figures<br/>        Bawdy puns<br/>        Regular puns<br/>        Real names of other IIA personnel</p>
<p>In addition, I’d like to discourage names that are explicit literary references. The sheer number of references, particularly to Shakespeare and American poet Edgar Allen Poe, si beginning to strain credulity. When you choose a new name, please try to strive for anonymity.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>3 April, 1928</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Office Decorum Redux</b></p>
<p>The agency rule prohibiting intercourse in the home office also applies to WCs, break rooms, conference rooms, and my office. This shouldn’t be so difficult to figure out, people.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>November 17, 1930</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Short-term Flat Requisitions</b></p>
<p>I’m pleased to announce that our on-premise flats can now be requisitioned for short-term use! If you need space to reconnect with another agency member, so to speak, please come see me for a short-term requisition rather than attempting to hide your tryst in a broom cupboard. It will be both more comfortable and more dignified for all involved.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>19 November, 1946</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Betting Pool</b></p>
<p>It has come to my attention that there’s a betting pool going around the office regarding the death of a fellow IIA agent. First of all, this contravenes the agency rule against gambling—see section 3.6 of the training guide. More importantly, it creates a hostile work environment for the subject of the pool. The person(s) responsible for this harassment should report to my office at their earliest convenience for discipline. I will certainly NOT be interested in placing a bet myself about the circumstances of this agent’s death.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>12 July, 1951</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Notoriety Policy Update</b></p>
<p>Good news, all! Due to the increasing saturation of mass media and rise of accidental fame, the IIA is updating our policy regarding agents who become famous. Henceforth, if you draw media attention, you will be immediately assigned a new identity, but you will no longer be expelled from the IIA. This does not mean that you can actively pursue fame—we retain the right to expel agents for particularly flagrant violation—but we recognize that it’s no longer possible for an agent to avoid becoming famous simply by keeping a low profile.  </p>
<p>In other positive news, in the last three years, instances of copulation at the home office have decreased by 200%. Thank you for adhering to policy!</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>28 May, 1955</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Historical Document Storage</b></p>
<p>A gentle reminder that the home office provides safe storage for documentation of past identities. Please use that instead of keeping important documents in a folder marked SECRETS in your current flat.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>11 June, 1968</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Human Experimentation</b></p>
<p>Although your coworkers are technically immortal, you may not use them as guinea pigs without their explicit written consent. The specific incident that prompted this memo is, as you probably guessed, someone slipping LSD into the third-floor water cooler last week. While I believe I know who’s responsible for that particular lapse in ethics, I wanted to issue a general reminder that human trials need to be approved by management and cannot be carried out on an ad-hoc basis. See Section 8 of your training guide if you need to brush up on scientific ethics.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>25 March, 1974</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Office Vandalism</b></p>
<p>To whoever has been sticking Post-It notes proclaiming “Illuminati Confirmed” on everything triangle-shaped in the home office: Please stop. I am also elated that the IIA managed to keep EVIL from stealing the formula for Post-Its, and I appreciate your thoughtfulness in using something so easily removed for your vandalism. That said, it IS still vandalism, and it isn’t funny. We all know the Illuminati exists. You’re not being clever, so please cut it out.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler</b><br/>DATE: <b>7 March, 1988</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Notoriety Policy</b></p>
<p>While the policy on agent fame has become more lenient in the past few decades, actively seeking fame is still frowned upon. As the world gets more and more connected, even local or regional fame is increasingly risky for IIA personnel. To use a completely random example, becoming a notable wrestler on a regional American circuit still constitutes fame, and as such, is discouraged for IIA agents.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members &lt;all@iia.org&gt;<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler &lt;irvingsuttler@iia.org&gt;</b><br/>SENT: <b>3 August, 2007</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Historical Document Storage</b></p>
<p>A gentle reminder that the home office provides safe database storage for documentation of past identities. Please use that instead of keeping important documents on your personal computer in a folder named SECRETS.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members &lt;all@iia.org&gt;<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler &lt;irvingsuttler@iia.org&gt;</b><br/>SENT: <b>31 December, 2013</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Social Media</b></p>
<p>Agents, as technology continues to march forward, it’s imperative that you safeguard your identities. In the modern day, this means staying off social media as much as possible, with “social media” here including, but not being limited to, Friendster, MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter. If you feel that you MUST use these services, please (a) divorce your username from your current, defunct, and true identities, and (b) set your privacy settings as strictly as possible.</p>
<p>It remains acceptable to maintain a LinkedIn account, as no one will bother to look there.</p>
<hr/>
<p>TO: <b>IIA members &lt;all@iia.org&gt;<br/></b> FROM: <b>Dr. Irving Suttler &lt;irvingsuttler@iia.org&gt;</b><br/>SENT: <b>6 September, 2019</b><br/>SUBJECT: <b>Office Decorum</b></p>
<p>Due to circumstances of which I’m sure you’re all aware, there’s been a recent uptick in sexual activity within the home office. In case anyone has forgotten, that kind of behavior is forbidden in the workplace (see section 5.2B of the training guide). Please be considerate of your coworkers and have sex on your own time. Having been dead for 70 years is no excuse.</p>
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